In the last few months I have experienced death of several first cousins, a brother and a few friends. As a friend said “none of us are going to get out of here alive!” Depressing but true, and it does not make the process any easier.
Every dead that I experience, humbles me in ways I cannot articulate. My younger brother died a few months ago, and several months earlier I dreamed about the death. This was quite disturbing because I had three brothers. It was not clear which one of my brothers would pass away. When my youngest brother passed away, I felt as though I had been prepared for the moment; even though it was not expected. I still experienced extreme sadness and despair.
Death is part of life, but it is something we never get use to it and many times it catches us off guard, even when it is expected. Death of a relative or close friend provides us with a new perspective to see life differently. You may realize that life is really short and many of the things we worry about are not that important in the grand scheme of things. It can be a time to reset your life goals.
According to Kubler Ross there are five stages of grief; denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance (Tyrrekk, Harberger, Schoo, and Siddiqui, 2023). Everyone moves through the stages at a different pace.
It always helps me to stay busy. Ask for help if you need it and engage in activities that you enjoy to take your mind off the sadness. Prolonged sadness and grief are not healthy and professional help maybe needed . Learn how to stay present in the moment so you do not drift back into “the what if.” Reach out to friends and family for support. We all go through the stages of grief and sometimes the steps are repeated before we get to acceptance.
Be kind, it goes a long way…
Reference
Tyrrekk, Harberger, Schoo, and Siddiqui, (2023). Kugler-Ross Stages of Dying and Subsequent Models of Grief.
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